How your brain is like Instagram...
Someone said something yesterday at lunch. It made you bristle. They're always like that!
That email from your boss made you fume. Why do they always complain?!
You can't get a read on your co-worker and you assume their really upset with you. You can never do anything right in their eyes.
Wouldn't it be easier to work without having to interact with anyone else?! Reality check. It wouldn't change anything. (Honestly, it would be rather lonely!) But here is why things wouldn't change.
Even if all the interactions were sterile and neutral with an automaton, we would still have an emotional reaction once in a while. That's because we are part of it! And, unfortuntaely, we are human. We are part of the equation whether we like it or not.
It's not a bad thing. It is however the reality. And it's a good idea to understand our reality. So let's take a quick look and use social media to help us understand it.
Our brains are bombarded by constant input. I mean constant. Way more than you probably imagine. Our unconcious brain and sensory system have the ability to take in over 1 billion bits of information per second. Yikes! However the brain filters out most of that to about 10 bits of information per second in concious thought. It does this because we could not handle that much information all at once. We would go insane! So it filters out what it believes to be irrelevant or not immediately necessary. And in order to decide whether something falls into those categories, it uses these things for it's criteria: instinct and our belief systems.
Instinct is there to protect us physically and emotionally and our brain will just react impulsively. Think loud noises, fast movement, temperature shifts, etc. The brain tracks those and responds. It always thinks those are important because it needs to keep you safe.
Our belief systems however are shaped by much different inputs. And here is where social media can come in handy in helping us understand it. Our brain filters things out just like your Instagram feed does. Your IG feed is going to show you what it thinks you like and what it thinks you are interested in. So does your brain. If you like puppies, your IG feed will show you reels with cute puppies doing cute puppy things. If you like motorbikes jumping off cliffs... you get the picture. Your brain is only going to show you what it thinks is relevant based on what you have spent time thinking about or believing in the past.
If you have had a series of interactions with a coworker that leave the impression that he is sloppy with his work, your brain will only start to notice things that support the idea that your coworker is sloppy. If you start to think your boss is coming down on you too hard, your brain will read that email from her in a tone that suggests she's being hard on you.
You won't notice all the other instances that don't support these thoughts and feelings, because your brain has decided that they are irrelevant and unnecessary. It's not that they aren't happening, it's that they aren't showing up in your feed because your algorithm is filtering them out.
So what can you do? Are you doomed to the whims of your brain algorithm? No, of course not. If you wanted your Instagram feed to change, you'd have to go to the search bar and look for something different, and pretty soon those things would start popping up in your feed on their own. Same thing with your brain. You have to conciously make the choice to look for the evidence that your brain is discarding. Remember, it's there... our brains just aren't paying attention to it. But you have control over your brain and can start to make concious decisions to change the belief system and start noticing different things.
You can re-read the email with a different lens. You can start noticing the times your coworker put together a cohesive project plan, or even a part of one.
It takes concious effort and a concious decision to shift and change the filter. And of course, it takes time. You're going to have to write yourself a post it so you can remember. You're going to have to catch yourself when you automatically revert to the old filter. Those filters are automatic until you do the new thoughts long enought to take them over.
Bottom line? You can't change other people's behavior. They will do what they will do. But sometimes, we don't see the good because we've filtered it out. Sometimes, we are the ones reacting out of our own filters. And that we can change. Little by little. And don't you think that would make a difference? I feel like it would. I would love for my filters to be positive ones rather than negative ones. It would make for a much more pleasant life.
So the next time you open that email and start to get all upset... think Instagram. What filter might you be using?
Want to learn more? Read about the research behind the article.
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